Blah

I've been wanting to write something non-mommy related. I'm bored with the topic and, quite frankly, I'm sure my handful of readers are as well.

Instead, I'm sick. Mr. Tonks has been home for the last two days taking care of the Tonklings and babying me. Yesterday he got a taste of what it's like for me on my "day off" as he calls it and today he has bravely loaded up JP and SG (both, by the way, have ear infections) and taken them to Costco because we are out of food.

Part of me feels sorry for him. I do! He's been thrown into some rough waters, head first, without much of a life jacket. The other part of me is secretly rejoicing. He's getting a small taste of what it's like to stay home- I can tell because he's been a little cranky with JP and SG and Mr. Tonks is not the cranky type.

So, until I feel up for a non-parenting post, A White Bear ponders the fate of bees over at ITNSII?, Orange has some interesting points about boys vs. girls toys, Jolt had some wicked spam so it might be worth going through her comments alone just to see some more of that stuff ;) and if you haven't checked out her blog yet, you should. My friend Anna posted another gorgeous African sunset picture and, of course, there is always something interesting going on over at Unfogged.

Right now, though, I'm off to take an afternoon nap.

The best e-mail I've gotten in a long time

It read:

I'm ok and my soldiers are ok. I can't really talk about it, but whoever is praying for my guys has my thanks.

Thank God. Dan is safe.

What I'm doing now

Today I am home sick. I ventured out of my room (where I've miserably been watching movies all day) to play a little on the computer.

Now, instead of writing a post about what it's like for Mr. Tonks to play Mr. Mom, I'm writing a post about my friend, Dan.

Dan is stationed at Bagram Air Force Base in Afghanistan. The same place where some Taliban member tried to blow up (or so they say) VP Cheney.

The terrorist failed. Instead he killed at least one US solider, a South Korean soldier, an American contractor and wounded others.

I don't know if my friend is still alive or not. I have searched every conceivable article on the incident, watched every video trying to catch a glimpse of his face. The base is huge, the probability of seeing Dan on tape is minuscule but not knowing if he is dead or alive is enough to make me insane.

The war in Afghanistan is what the Bush administration should have concentrated its efforts on. Instead, he (Bush) lead us into a false war in Iraq and, to this day, I'm still not sure why the hell we ever started shit over there. I can't help but wonder if Bush would've finished the war he started, instead of the war Daddy Bush started, maybe, perhaps, the war on terror would be more successful.

I'm so angry right now. I'm angry that our army is spread so thin that men and women are having to go back and for two and three tours of duty. I'm angry that the war in Iraq ever happened. I'm angry that Bagram security allowed a suicide bomber inside the base. I'm angry that there is a possibility that Cheney- a foul, horrible, evil man- is still alive, while my friend- a sweet, kind, intelligent, loving man- might be dead. Even if Dan did survive, someone's friend, husband or wife, son or daughter is gone. Perhaps I should blame the Taliban (and I do) but, mostly, I blame Bush and Cheney for so royally fucking up and playing Russian Roulette with other peoples' lives.

Money and guns

Every once in awhile I take JP on a date. We go wherever he wants, move at his pace (i.e. I never say, "Come on! Let's go!") and spend time holding hands, playing, and talking without Mr. Tonks or SG.

Several weeks ago, while on one of our dates, JP discovered a Nerf crossbow thingy that he really, really wanted.

First, toy weapons of any kind are banned in our house. I admit that this rule is completely futile. He may not have any toy guns but he'll make them out of anything- a straw, wooden spoon, etc.

Second, the aforementioned rule notwithstanding, the damn thing cost over $20. I usually buy JP a little something when we're out but it usually falls into the $5 or less category.

I have decided to allow JP to buy the Nerf crossbow but he must do it with his own money. I occasionally pay him for doing extra chores- picking up sticks in the yard, dusting the doors, etc. To date he's earned about $8 of the $23 he needs.

Today we went on another date and visited a different toy store. There were many things that caught his eye and on more than one occasion JP would say, "Mommy, do I have enough money to buy this?" I finally explained to him that, yes, he did, but that if he spent his money he would have to start all over on his savings for the crossbow. He pondered this and then said, very somberly, "Okay Mommy. Let's just go."

To teach him this lesson about money is monumentally hard for me. I am an only child that grew up in a house where money was never an issue. I wasn't spoiled but I never really grasped the concept of money. To this day, at the age of 28, I have money management issues. I'm trying to teach my 4-year old son a lesson that I am still learning.

To see him make such a mature decision- to forgo instant gratification for a much bigger payoff- made me so proud. It was one of those rare moments when, as a parent, I feel like I'm doing something right.

Little mean girls

Today I took JP and SG to the mall for shoes. They behaved so well I not only took them for overpriced hot dogs at Nordstrom's Cafe and let them have lollipops, I was also manipulated into schlepping to the Rainforest Cafe to look through their store.

On the way there JP (who, at age 4, is roughly the size of a first grader) very happily showed his heart shaped lolly, smiled and waved to a trio of 7- or 8-year old girls walking hand in hand towards Build-a-Bear. The middle girl looked contemptuously at him and muttered, "Stupid."

She was horrified to discover that JP hadn't heard her but I did. I stopped, and said, "Excuse me?" The trio stopped. The middle girl looked terrified. I again said, "Excuse me?" The middle girl who had so much to say just moments before scurried away, still holding her friends' hands.

I wanted to pinch her, slap her- to be just as mean as she was. JP was oblivious (thankfully) but I wanted to pound that tiny little witch into the ground.

The mother (of which girl I'm not sure) was walking about 10-feet ahead of the pack, on a cell phone and completely unaware that anything had transpired. I thought about following them into Build-a-Bear and letting the woman know how hateful the child had been. I didn't because I thought it better for JP. Why make an issue out of something he didn't even know happened? In retrospect I wish I would've. Obviously she needed a lesson in kindness.

Assorted thoughts

Birthday Blues update

Yesterday SG turned 2 and I actually managed to NOT cry once. I got teary eyed (while sitting on her bed and staring at her for about 10-minutes) as she slept but I didn't dissolve into a ball of sadness.

Yesterday was a good day
Krispy Kreme for SG's birthday breakfast. Played at a park for 3-hours. Yummy birthday dinner for SG made by my mom. A horrendously ugly cake made by yours truly that tasted really good. Oh, and we scored a brand new water heater for a mere $80! Hooray for the home owners' warranty! It was installed today so tonight I get to take an honest-to-God hot shower for more than 3-minutes. :)

Maybe February isn't too bad

...because the weather has rocked this week. It's been in the 50's and 60's all week and we have spent as much time as humanly possible OUTSIDE! If the weather takes a turn for the colder (which it will) I will go back to maintaining that February sucks.

I like working out
I do. It's fun, especially when my friend/ neighbor goes with me and we laugh about leaving our husbands with the children. While we're getting our butts kicked in a body sculpting class, they're getting their butts kicked by kids who would really rather not sleep. Plus, I'm losing all the weight I've gained over the last few months and getting toned. Sweet!

My neighborhood

It's just flat out awesome. Love it. Love living here*. Love my house. Love my neighbors. Hooray for my neighborhood!

My dog is gross

She is. She's seriously overweight (at nearly 10 lbs. she weighs about 4 lbs. more than she should). She makes these horrible noises, sounds that should be coming out of old men with emphysema and she has a funky goiter on her side. I love her, though. Nasty sounds and all. That's her in the picture.

My in-laws are moving here

Quite frankly I'm not sure how I feel about that. Right now they're over an hour away. My mother-in-law has "expectations" that she never asserts and we usually fail to meet. They're being so close in proximity will either be good or really, really bad.

I'm done!

Remember that hot shower I talked about? I'm going to go take it as soon as Grey's is over.

*We just moved here about 5-months ago.

Birthday funk

My baby girl's second birthday is on Wednesday and the Birthday Blues have begun.

I'm not sure what my deal is. Whenever the kids' birthdays approach I begin to get weepy and wistful. I look pictures to see how much they've changed, dwell on how fast the time has gone and long to bottle up all their sweet baby goodness to keep forever.

If history repeats itself (and I'm sure it will) I will likely cry myself to sleep Tuesday night. By Wednesday evening, Thursday at the latest, I'll be over my little funk and back to normal.

Until then...let the tears flow.

Who knew?

This catalogue was in our mailbox today. I had no idea such things existed.

Need a new Rosary? They've got hundreds. Did you know that a Rosary is manufactured especially for Catholic believers who are incarcerated? Yep! The catalogue boasts they're "Ideal for Prisons!"

How about some Holy Cards? A statue of St. Lazarus? Maybe a Crucifixion Bust Wall Plaque. I'm not sure what's more disturbing about that: using the Crucifixion as art or the fact that the Christ in this particular model has no limbs.

Most interesting though are the priest models. Several of them are quite handsome. I don't think I've ever seen a clergy member that good looking.

Perhaps I need to revisit the Catholic faith?

Jon Who-ert?

[Mr. Tonks here. Thanks for letting me share my world with you. In case you didn't know, I'm teh shit. Soooo... um... glad that's out of the way. Ooh! Ooh! FYI, I might post complete fabrications and non-true things sometimes.]

The following is an email that I managed to swipe from an anonymous FoxNews staffer before it was sent to various members of the right-wing blogosphere:

Good news! FoxNews is ready to rock the funny with our new specials, Redeye and Half Hour News Hour and we need fellow flag-draped funny-men to "bring-it" conservative style! Those liberals think they have the market on humor. Pa-shaw!

Come join us at Fox 'cause Uncle Sam demands it, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior knows that the other networks work for satan. Boooooo! Satan totally sucks.

Join us as we skewer:

the democrat party
GAYS! AHHH!! Get them off me! LOL!
Mexico
Islam
blacks, Thanks Biden!
the poor
poor blacks
Iraq
science
women (with whole shows devoted to Peloosi goosy and she-devil Hillary-hilarity)
black women
poor black women
9-11 victims and their families
veterans who oppose Our Leader's war and surges
nature and those who care for it
art
victims of parkinson's disease
non-country music other than Nugent
Spongebob
education
college professors
did I mention Gays?!!! Seriously! Total yuck.


Here's what some of America's most important people have to say about our new shows:

"ROFLMAO."
-Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States of America

"OMG, THE FUNNIEST COMEDY SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, EVAR!!! I HATE ISLAM! WHY AM I YELLING?!!!"
-Micheal Savage, The Savage Nation

"I wholeheartedly reject a show such as this that uses mass media as a platform for hate. These agents of intolerance will only succeed in dividing this country more...[30 seconds later] Its good to see Fox balancing the scales. Its a funny show. Our great nation needs to hear this message."
-John McCain, U.S. Senator (R-AZ)

"Oh... oh god... oh... oh! Oh!! Smear em, baby! Yes! Yes!! Oh god!!! SSSSMEEEAAAR!!! OH! OH! YES! OHHHHHHHH!!!!! Ahhhhhhh. That was fantastic. Anyone got a cig? Maybe a smoking mosque?"
-Michelle Malkin

"The Daily Show emboldens our enemies. The Colbert Report undermines our leadership. Its good to finally see a show that isn't weak on national security who doesn't embolden our enemies and undermine our troops. These are Great Americans. We must win. They must lose. Good. Evil. Right. Left. Embolden. Undermine. Let Freedom ring."
-Sean Hannity, FoxNews "Hannity & Colmes"

"Its good to see the Father God back in the funny business. I thought He lost His sense of humor after He took Anna Nicole away."
-Pat Robertson, The 700 Club

Mr. Tonks speaks

Mr. Tonks has lots of opinions and he's funny. Therefore, soon he shall be contributing to our little forum. I'm also toying with the idea of asking a couple other people to join in the fray but until then...

Enjoy!

More February bitching

It started to snow this afternoon. Again. Two more inches of the blasted white stuff.

JP (whose 4) looked out the window today and wailed, "Mommy, it's snowing! I don't want it to snow! I want it to be sunny!" Then he started to cry.

Fucking February. Now it made my kid cry.

Good weekend food

This is a hoagie. A warm, yummy, gooey delicious sandwich. Just about everybody I know loves a good hoagie and mine are pretty darn good. This is ridiculously easy which makes it ideal weekend food. Here's what to do...

Gather:

Hoagie rolls (I like to use firm whole wheat rolls)

Thinly sliced ham and turkey*

Swiss cheese

Shredded mozzarella cheese

Garlic salt

Assembly:

Slice and toast hoagie buns.

Layer turkey and ham on the bottom half of hoagie.
Put Swiss cheese and mozzarella on the top half of the hoagie.

Sprinkle meat with garlic salt.

Cook it:

Zap sandwich, open faced in the microwave for a minute.

Put the two halves together.

Cut it.

Eat the hoagie and enjoy.

*If you'd like you can use turkey OR ham. Whatever floats your boat.

I hate February

I. Fucking. Hate. February.

It's a depressing, nasty, dirty, dreary month. I hate it.

I am on the verge of losing my mind. It has been over 30-days since we've been able to go outside and play for any decent length of time. The children are sick of me, sick of each other, sick of their toys, movies and games. Quite frankly, I'm not all that fond of any of the aforementioned items either. Children included.

My darling little heathens are dangling on a precarious ledge. There are moments when I think they're going to quit fighting each other, declare mutiny and begin a preschool version of Lord of the Flies. They'll become cannibals, first using me as their snack and then go after one another. The little one will ultimately be victorious. Of the two she's got more staying power.

I feel quite certain that the only thing that can save me from the doldrums is some sunny, 60 degree weather. Yeah, I know, it's not going to happen.

I hate February.

I could've lived without hearing this

This afternoon JP popped his little blonde head out of the bathroom and shouted, "Mom! Come here!" I obliged him. Upon entering the bathroom he very cheerfully exclaimed, "Hey! Want to see my nasty poop?"

Ugh.

Faith

Today's Non Sequitur struck a chord with me.

It's been awhile, a long while, since I've been to a church to worship. The longer I stay away, the less I want to go. It's not that I don't have faith, that I don't believe or even that I don't want to. I just haven't found a place that delivers a message I can believe in.

My beef with organized religion has less to do with religion and almost everything to do with the people who organize it. So many times the individuals who tout themselves as "good Christians" aren't. They talk a good talk, put together a good facade, but they don't walk the walk. Yet they'll happily help you with every sin and shortcoming you've got.

It's frustrating because I want my children to grow up with a strong faith but finding a church that's not going to condemn my beliefs (pro-choice, legalization of gay unions, etc.) that will also foster my kids sense that something exists that's bigger than them.

So, until I find that place, Hueyism is looking pretty darn good.

Oh happy day!

He's running.

Barack the vote*!

Huh? moments

I don't do well in the morning. For starters, my bed is ridiculously cozy and comfortable so getting motivated to get out of it doesn't come easy. Second, it's flipping cold. Third, my room is quiet, my children are not. Finally, I'm just not a morning person. Mr. Tonks is the go-to-guy when it comes to getting up with JP- usually when it's still dark outside.

This morning was no different. Mr. Tonks woke me up and I lay there, refusing to get out of bed. He turned on the light, got the ironing board out and turned the TV on. I lay there, refusing to get out of bed. I was vaguely aware of the news but still in la-la-land and still refusing to get out of bed.

I eventually hauled myself into the living room and plopped on the couch and watched the DVD* du jour with JP and SG but something was bugging me about a story I thought I heard on TV.

As my head cleared I really began to wonder if I was going crazy.

Me: Was there something on the news this morning about an astronaut being arrested?

Mr. Tonks: Yeah.

Me: Arrested for attempted kidnapping and murder?

Mr. Tonks: Yeah.

(long pause)

Me: Was there something said about her wearing a diaper so she wouldn't have to pull over?

Mr. Tonks (laughing): Yes.

Me: Really? Why would you do that?

Mr. Tonks: She's an astronaut. She's probably used to it.

Me: What? Astronauts don't use diapers. They pee in a hose.

Mr. Tonks: What do you think they do on spacewalks?

Me: Hold it. Go before the spacewalk. They don't go in diapers.

Now the debate rages: do astronauts use diapers in space?


*We don't have cable or satellite. We have good ol' rabbit ears sitting on our TV. The theory is that we'll watch less TV and, more importantly, so will the kids. We'll also save money. In the last few weeks, though, this has not been the case. The baby is turning into a complete couch potato and I've probably spent more on DVD's in the last two weeks than it would've cost to have cable with every available premium channel.

Winter be gone!

If only it were that simple.

The children have not been outside to play for weeks. Weeks.

JP has a wretched cold which means he doesn't feel good and he's acting like a total toad.

SG is getting the aforementioned cold. She is a total punk when ill.

I have to go for root canal related work tomorrow and I'm coming down with the same cold the kids have.

Mr. Tonks is, as usual, perfectly healthy which kind of pisses me off.

Blah.

This just sucks

Right before Christmas I had to have two root canals. One on a Monday; the other on a Wednesday. The mind-blowing pain associated with the Monday one is something I'll never forget. Two words: liquid lightning. That's the only way I can describe it.

Do you know what sucks more than the pain?

The bill. One thousand dollars. Per tooth. Our insurance has a cap of $1,000 per year so we we're stuck with a nearly $1,100 dollar invoice that sweetly arrived a few days after Christmas.

Each root canal takes approximately seven-minutes from the time the endodontist starts drilling until he's finished. That's around $8,000 per hour. Just food for thought.

When I opened the bill I immediately thought of all the things I would rather go in debt for other than the root canals: the Mac PowerBook that causes me to drool just a little. Nifty new furniture from this store. A weekend away to someplace warm and quiet sans JP and SG. LipoDissolve*. At least 10 new pairs of shoes. The list goes on and on. I don't like going into debt but, dammit, when I do I want to have something to show for it!

Today I had to go back for a second root canal on the bottom (Monday) tooth. The infection was coming back with a vengeance. I'm hoping we don't get charged- as if the endodontist has some sort of all inclusive package per tooth. Seriously, if we now have to dish out over $2,000 to this guy I'm going to be really upset.

*sigh*

This just sucks.


*I really, really want LipoDissolve. Two pregnancies have not been kind to my bum and thighs and LipoDissolve seems like a brilliant solution.

February 2nd

2/2 UPDATE: Phil says spring will be here soon! WOO-HOO!!!

Groundhog's Day is tomorrow. That funky little rodent had better not see his shadow because winter needs to go away. My sanity depends on it.

Outrage Part II

The incident below happened February 5, 2006- nearly a year ago.

Today the Kansas City Police department announced that the offers involved in the incident were on leave. With pay, of course.

Department Chief James Corwin declared the officers actions as "inconsistent with the values and policies of this department and inconsistent with the training they received in the police academy."

Huh. Interesting, no?

The police chief offered up the pithy quote at a news conference held this afternoon where no questions were allowed from reporters.

I suppose he was afraid* they'd ask things like, if their behavior was so outrageous, why are the officers being suspended a year after the incident? Why weren't they suspended in a timely manner? Why is it that this case only came to light after the victim filed a lawsuit against the police department? Why haven't the officers been fired?

Oh, and for those of you reading this not from the area: there are two Kansas Cities. Kansas City, KS and Kansas City, MO (they melt into one big metro area but that's beside the point). The incident happened on the Missouri side of the state line.


*Corwin cited pending litigation as the reason for not allowing questions. Whatever.