My sweet boy

I was listening to an NPR story about Darfur this afternoon. A soundbite of President Bush issuing empty threats to the Sudanese government left me feeling enraged. "What are you going to do?" I shouted at the radio, temporarily forgetting that JP was tagging along during my Target run. He asked why I was shouting and who was I shouting at. I explained to him that I was frustrated, that our president wasn't very good and that there are people in Africa who need our help but the president wasn't doing anything for them. He became quiet and I could tell that the wheels in his head were turning. Suddenly his eyes brightened and he said happily, "I have an idea! I know what could help the people in Africa! Superman! I bet if we asked him he'd swoop right in and help all those people." I didn't have the heart to squelch his triumph so I just said, "I think you're right buddy."

Sad, isn't it, when a four-year old's plan to end the genocide seems more attainable (and more likely to happen) than the hollow rhetoric of this administration.

Not in my house

Yesterday JP said something that didn't sit well with me. I can't remember what, exactly, but it was a derogatory statement about girls. I asked him if he realized that Mommy was a girl and would he like it if someone talked that way about me? He responded with quiet but dismissive, "no."

Hmm...what's a mom to do when trying to teach her 4-year old how not to be a misogynistic twit? Well, this mom uses slightly empty* threats.

I told him that if he continues to put girls down because they're girls he's going to learn what it's like to be a girl. I'm going to make him wear a dress to school.

It must've had at least some effect because today, while chatting with a neighbor, I asked JP what will happen if he's not kind to the girls at school. His response: "Mom's gonna make me wear one of Lindsey's [my friend's daughter] dresses."


*I realize that this gender bias bullshit is because of his age. He's starting to see differences between boys and girls, is learning how to play with more than one friend, etc. Will I really make him wear a dress to school...probably not. Unless he gets really bad. Then I absolutely will.

Guinea pig

JP wants a guinea pig. We place the blame solely on Wonder Pets.

He has a really cute, realistic looking stuffed guinea pig, which reduced the number of guinea pig requests, but hasn't stopped them completely (which was the goal).

I told JP if he wanted one two things had to happen: he had to use his own money and Daddy had to agree to it. The latter did not occur. When JP readily agreed with the first stipulation, I explained that buying a guinea pig would delay buying the Nerf crossbow thing that he wants. He didn't care.

We went to the pet store* today and while there he blissfully cradled a guinea pig for half-an-hour. There is no doubt that he truly wants one.

Mr. Tonks and I have pondered the possibility of the Easter Bunny bringing JP a guinea pig but, quite frankly, the Easter Bunny is on the fence as to whether or not s/he really wants one!

*While there a woman was purchasing something in a big cardboard box. JP asked about the box's contents and she said, "A bunny. It's dinner for a Burmese python."

Money and guns

Every once in awhile I take JP on a date. We go wherever he wants, move at his pace (i.e. I never say, "Come on! Let's go!") and spend time holding hands, playing, and talking without Mr. Tonks or SG.

Several weeks ago, while on one of our dates, JP discovered a Nerf crossbow thingy that he really, really wanted.

First, toy weapons of any kind are banned in our house. I admit that this rule is completely futile. He may not have any toy guns but he'll make them out of anything- a straw, wooden spoon, etc.

Second, the aforementioned rule notwithstanding, the damn thing cost over $20. I usually buy JP a little something when we're out but it usually falls into the $5 or less category.

I have decided to allow JP to buy the Nerf crossbow but he must do it with his own money. I occasionally pay him for doing extra chores- picking up sticks in the yard, dusting the doors, etc. To date he's earned about $8 of the $23 he needs.

Today we went on another date and visited a different toy store. There were many things that caught his eye and on more than one occasion JP would say, "Mommy, do I have enough money to buy this?" I finally explained to him that, yes, he did, but that if he spent his money he would have to start all over on his savings for the crossbow. He pondered this and then said, very somberly, "Okay Mommy. Let's just go."

To teach him this lesson about money is monumentally hard for me. I am an only child that grew up in a house where money was never an issue. I wasn't spoiled but I never really grasped the concept of money. To this day, at the age of 28, I have money management issues. I'm trying to teach my 4-year old son a lesson that I am still learning.

To see him make such a mature decision- to forgo instant gratification for a much bigger payoff- made me so proud. It was one of those rare moments when, as a parent, I feel like I'm doing something right.