Breastfeeding

Over at Is There No Sin In It, commenter maitresse made a particularly snarky remark in regards to breastfeeding. My panties are now good and twisted so I'm going to vent about it here.

I don't understand the hubbub over breastfeeding. Really- what's the big deal? Most mothers are discreet about it. They don't let their boobs flop around, their nipples aren't hanging out for everyone to see...they're just feeding their babies!

Having been both a breastfeeding mommy and a bottle feeding mommy I have felt the pressure from all angles. It's a no-win situation when it comes to how you choose to feed your kid.

With JP, physically breastfeeding him wasn't possible. I tried. Every time he'd nurse, I'd end up with an intraductal yeast infection in my breasts. It felt like he was sucking out needles instead of milk. After four rounds of that, I gave up. Since he was a premature (and a winter baby) I felt like it was important for him to have breast milk so I pumped...and pumped...and pumped. He got the beneficial breast milk via a bottle, I didn't have to deal with nasty infections and everyone was happy. At six-months I couldn't keep up with his demand so we very gradually switched to formula.

The problem with that though was that I was (gasp) bottle feeding my baby. I had plenty people looking down their noses at me. What a bad mother! Didn't I know that breast was best! How could I feed my baby like that? Didn't I love him? Didn't I care? Didn't I want him to grow up smart and healthy??? Shame on me!

With SG we started out nursing and had no problems. She was perfectly happy to breastfeed, started refusing a bottle (no matter what was in it) around two-months and self-weaned at 15-months. It was a heck of a lot cheaper than formula and while the first six-months or so were emotionally difficult for me*, the last nine-months of nursing were great. I even remember knowing that she would wean herself soon and feeling pretty sad about it.

The problem with breastfeeding- people look at you like you're filming a porn movie if you have the audacity to do it in public. Have you no decency? What's wrong with a bottle? Can't you go somewhere else to do that? My mother's friend started harping at me when SG was just a few months old that it was time for her to go on a bottle. She didn't need that anymore. As though "that" were a dirty nasty thing.

As much as I hate this argument, breast feeding is natural and the optimial** food for babies. Our bodies start gearing up for it while we're pregnant. For as long as we're willing to do it, our bodies continue to produce milk (usually). Breast feeding isn't gross or dirty. It is what it is: a means to feed a baby. I think it's a shame that there isn't more support for it, particularly where a baby's pediatrician is concerned.

Having said that, JP was in school with a couple kiddos that were exclusively bottle fed as infants (moms talk about this stuff) and, as far as I can tell, they were just as happy, healthy and well adjusted as the kids that got the fresh stuff straight from their mom.

As a mom, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't no matter what you choose. Mothers of other infants are particularly horrid. "Oh, you bottle feed? Mmmm..." "Well wow! You're just going to whip it out and feed him now? Huh..." It's wretched! From where I sit, having endured both sides, I'd like to tell everyone here and now to shut it. How a woman chooses to feed her child is a personal decision. One she probably didn't choose lightly and something that is between her and her baby. If you don't like it, look away, leave, do whatever you need to do but don't stare and, for God's sake, keep your opinions to yourself.

*I was an emotional train wreck after SG was born. That story is a blog in and of itself.

**I really don't like hearing "Breast is best" as though bottle fed babies are somehow neglected or malnourished because they're getting formula. What's best is when mom and baby are happy. Sometimes that means buying cans of formula.