Pica

Does anybody out there know anything about Pica in dogs? I am in need of some advice, firsthand if possible.

Zoie has always been one to eat things she shouldn't but in the last few months she'd gotten better about it (attempt at eating the ant bait excluded). It seems, though, that the Pica is back with a vengeance. Other than eating through a plastic bag, she's resumed her habit of eating sticks, squirrel/ rabbit poo, dirty tissues (which she gets off the bed stand in the middle of the night) and God only knows what else. Less than an hour ago I caught her up to her eyeballs eating dirt out of one of my potted plants. She was gorging herself like it was prime rib.

I love Zoie, I do, but this has got to stop. Apart from being completely vile, it's also dangerous (what if a stick gets lodged in her throat?) and more of a headache than I can manage.

Help, bloggers!

Damn dog

This evening Mr. Tonks went to the grocery store, picked-up a few staples, ran to the gas station, went inside briefly and then came home. The dog went with him because she loves to ride in the car.

While Mr. Tonks was in the gas station (for all of two or three minutes) our little (10 lbs., max) freak of nature dog consumed half a loaf 0f bread*.

She's now lying on the floor, bloated and looking totally miserable.

Damn dog.

*I presume she also consumed some of the plastic bag that the bread was in. We can only cross our fingers and hope she doesn't die or need surgery.

Bad mama update

Today was much, much better. We got out of the house, bought some flowers, had some laughs. Life was good and back to normal.

Not a good day

Today was not a good day.

I just deleted a lengthy, not very entertaining explanation as to why. The why can be summed up in three words: cranky tired mama.

I hate days like today. They're long and drag on forever. My irritation increases as the time progresses. My fuse is short. I'm not a hell of a lot of fun*. But most of all, I don't enjoy my kids.

The guilt I feel is tremendous. They're just being kids and, in all likelihood, if I would've quit wallowing in my funk and made more of an effort to have fun and engage them, we probably would've had a moderately better day.

I know a woman who's daughter died at the age of three. Three-years old and she was gone forever. When I reflect on days like today I can't help but think of Lauren. Her mother would give her soul to have that little girl back- long, irritating days notwithstanding. After days like today, when I've had time to decompress and breathe, I feel like I've wasted a gift.

Tomorrow we get to start fresh. I'll be a better Mama. I'll make sure we have a better day.

*I wasn't Mommy Dearest but I certainly wasn't Donna Reed. My back and neck are killing me and I'm seriously sleep deprived.

Inane conversation

I spent about 20-minutes this morning trying to find copies of a couple books that I’d like to read to JP’s class tomorrow. After first trying the two independent and local bookstores I started to call the big box stores. The conversation with a “bookseller” at Barnes and Noble had me wanting to bang my head against the wall:

Tonks: Hi, do you have a copy of “Diary of a Wombat” in stock?

Bookseller: Let me check. Do you spell ‘wombat’ with two t’s?

T: No, one.

BS: Okay. Hmm. I don’t see anything for “Diary of a Wombat”. Wait, let me try something else.

(sound of keyboard tapping)

BS: Are you sure it’s called “Diary of a Wombat?”

T: Yes.

BS: Weeelll (long pause) I don’t see anything by that title.

T: Okay, thanks.

BS: Wait, how do you spell ‘wombat’?

T: (repressing an annoyed sigh) W-O-M-B-A-T

BS: Oh, I was spelling it w-a-m-b-a-t (laughs).

T: (brief, polite laughter followed by silence)

BS: Here it is! Gosh, these computers are so picky.

And wouldn’t you know, they didn’t have it in stock.

It's not that hard!

I am inept and, maybe, just a little bit dumb.

Right now I'm "taking a break" from attempting to cover a plate of lemon squares with plastic wrap. I've gone through three pieces so far and none of them are sticking. Nothing like a piece of plastic to make you feel like a total moron.

Shit.

I'm getting the tape.

Gross day

Yucky thing #1
This morning the kids were outside playing and JP found a snake. He was playing with a huge, heavy pipe* on a pile of rocks at the back of our yard and when the Garter snake slithered out, JP got excited and dropped the aforementioned pipe. Right on the poor snake's head. Unfortunately, the pipe crushed the snake's skull but didn't entirely kill it. Mr. Tonks got the shovel and finished the poor guy off. I used the same shovel to dig a hole and carry the snake to his final resting place**. A brick is on top of the snake's grave and JP has been given extremely specific instructions not to dig it up.

Yucky thing #2
This afternoon, while my in-laws were over, I caught the dog outside with something in her mouth and looking particularly pleased with herself. Zoie has a tendency to eat sticks (she has pica so she'll actually eat just about anything) and that's what I expected to find- a half-eaten stick. Imagine my surprise when I pulled out what we presume to be the lower jaw bone of a cat. Any bets on what skeletal remain we find next?


*Our house was built in the 1940's and, for reasons I don't understand, there are two huge pipes (each around eight-feet long) in our yard and other smaller pipes buried in the ground behind our fence row. We'd throw it away but the trash guys won't take anything over four-feet long and we don't own a tool that will cut through 1/4" thick galvanized pipe.

**While carrying the snake to his grave, JP requested to hold it. I said no (it was fairly bloody). Then he said, "How 'bout I just hold its little head? I'll be gentle."

My sweet boy

I was listening to an NPR story about Darfur this afternoon. A soundbite of President Bush issuing empty threats to the Sudanese government left me feeling enraged. "What are you going to do?" I shouted at the radio, temporarily forgetting that JP was tagging along during my Target run. He asked why I was shouting and who was I shouting at. I explained to him that I was frustrated, that our president wasn't very good and that there are people in Africa who need our help but the president wasn't doing anything for them. He became quiet and I could tell that the wheels in his head were turning. Suddenly his eyes brightened and he said happily, "I have an idea! I know what could help the people in Africa! Superman! I bet if we asked him he'd swoop right in and help all those people." I didn't have the heart to squelch his triumph so I just said, "I think you're right buddy."

Sad, isn't it, when a four-year old's plan to end the genocide seems more attainable (and more likely to happen) than the hollow rhetoric of this administration.

Kicky new sunglasses

I think these are my most favorite sunglasses ever. It's hard to tell but they have sparkly multi-colored rhinestones on the sides. I have kind of a small head and it was suggested I try kids sunglasses. Hooray for Nordstroms! Cute sunglasses that fit for $10! Woo-hoo!

Not in my house

Yesterday JP said something that didn't sit well with me. I can't remember what, exactly, but it was a derogatory statement about girls. I asked him if he realized that Mommy was a girl and would he like it if someone talked that way about me? He responded with quiet but dismissive, "no."

Hmm...what's a mom to do when trying to teach her 4-year old how not to be a misogynistic twit? Well, this mom uses slightly empty* threats.

I told him that if he continues to put girls down because they're girls he's going to learn what it's like to be a girl. I'm going to make him wear a dress to school.

It must've had at least some effect because today, while chatting with a neighbor, I asked JP what will happen if he's not kind to the girls at school. His response: "Mom's gonna make me wear one of Lindsey's [my friend's daughter] dresses."


*I realize that this gender bias bullshit is because of his age. He's starting to see differences between boys and girls, is learning how to play with more than one friend, etc. Will I really make him wear a dress to school...probably not. Unless he gets really bad. Then I absolutely will.

It came back to bite me

This time last week I was whining about my allergies.

This week my allergies are much better, thank you, but the weather fucking sucks! It's cold. And rainy. And windy. The beautiful flowers that were starting to bud and bloom are dead. Even those that have been covered and protected have succumbed to below freezing temperatures in the evening. The Easter Egg Hunt at my parents' house on Sunday was cut short because it was so stinking cold. JP and SG were dressed for a trek up Everest- no cute spring outfits this year. The worse part? Snow has worked its way into the forecast. Shit. If it's not Christmas I have no use for snow!

*sigh*

Who knew that I'd be whining because my nose isn't runny?

Come back, Spring!

Happy day

Mr. Tonks, as I type, is en route to the Apple Store to buy an iMac.

I'm nearly as excited as I was the day we brought JP* home. I will finally be the proud owner of a Mac!!!

Now if I could just get rid of the buyer's remorse...


*Not that I wasn't just as excited to bring SG home- I was- but JP was premature and had to spend some extra time in the hospital so his homecoming was also a huge relief.

Long time, long week

Tomorrow Mr. Tonks and I will have been a couple for nine-years. Our seventh wedding anniversary is a couple months away.

It sounds like a long time.

It is a long time.

We've been spatting for the last couple days so there probably won't be much in the way of celebrating. I'm feeling irritated and put-out. I don't particularly like him very much right now. Love him, yes. Still, I'd kind of like to kick him in the shins.

My frustration with him spills over onto the children which isn't fair. My already short fuse gets pushed to the limit by two little people who seem to be determined to tick each other off.

*sigh*

This has not been a good week. Is it over yet?

'Tis the Season

I have been hoping and praying for Spring to get here and now it has arrived in full force in all its glory, with green grass, blooming flowers, budding trees and the need to be outside as much as humanly possible. Glorious!

What is not so fantastic is the runny nose, watery, itchy eyes, sore throat and the feeling that I've been smacked upside the head by a gigantic peony teeming with pollen.

Pre- JP and SG I would've stayed inside as much as possible until Memorial Day. Now, with two kiddos who start begging to go outside almost as soon as they've finished their chocolate milk, being a Spring hermit ain't an option. Plus, I finally have a house I love with a yard that is begging for some TLC. I want to be outside gardening and playing in the dirt! My head is spinning with all my landscaping plans, container recipes and trying to figure out what cool thing I'm going to do with my nifty solar powered, color changing, bubble lights.

*sigh*

There is no point to this post. None at all. You'll notice the label distinctly reads WHINING and nothing else. I've got about four more years of allergy shots before I'm done with Springtime Sneezes (at least this is what they tell me).

Right now, I need to go blow my nose.