On feminism

As A White Bear said, she and I recently talked at length about feminism. It wasn't until recently that I discovered my feminist side. Nor did I realize having a feminist side was necessary.

Growing up I wasn't aware that there was such a thing as "boy toys" and "girl toys," to me there were just toys. In most neighborhoods we lived in, I had only boys to play with. I remember playing with He-Man, Hot Wheels, Transformers and GI Joe at my friends' houses. We rode bikes, played outside and had fun. The fact that I was a girl didn't matter.

I had one girl friend, before entering elementary school, and she was a girly girl. She loved Barbie dolls and other girly crap. I hated Barbie dolls. One afternoon she thought she manipulated me into playing Barbie dolls by allowing me to play with her brand new Skipper doll. When her back was turned I yanked Skipper's head off. We quit playing with the Barbies after that.

When I entered high school I got involved in activities where my gender wasn't an issue: debate, forensics, theatre, journalism. I was an equal because I worked my ass off to be that way- just like everyone else. My friends (my theatre family) were awesome. We were all on the same playing field. I wasn't "just a girl," I was Tonks.

It wasn't until after college that I started encountering people that thought I was somehow less capable simply because I had a vagina. Note that I didn't use the word "men." I've encountered several asses and, after overcoming my initial shock and being talked down to, I'm perfectly content to tell them to shut-up. It's the women that still floor me and leave me grasping for words.

The worst offenders are the suburban mommies. The women who reinforce strict gender roles on preschoolers. The women who are the consummate housewives who cringe at the thought of having their husband pull his weight around the house. The women who feel it necessary to make motherhood a competitive (and hateful) sport. The women who treat their daughters like tiny dolls, dress them as such, and balk at allowing them to be dirty. The women who are unwittingly raising their sons to be the next generations of vile misogynists. These women make me crazy...and sad.

When A White Bear began her blog a year ago I was blissfully unaware of the need to be a feminist. I read her blog religiously, started reading Bitch and others and realized how unfortunately stupid I was! I don’t pretend to be well-schooled on feminism- I’m still educating myself on the subject. The fact is though, I am a feminist. I’m married to a feminist and I’m raising little tiny feminists- they don’t know it yet, but they’ll appreciate it the future.