Money and guns

Every once in awhile I take JP on a date. We go wherever he wants, move at his pace (i.e. I never say, "Come on! Let's go!") and spend time holding hands, playing, and talking without Mr. Tonks or SG.

Several weeks ago, while on one of our dates, JP discovered a Nerf crossbow thingy that he really, really wanted.

First, toy weapons of any kind are banned in our house. I admit that this rule is completely futile. He may not have any toy guns but he'll make them out of anything- a straw, wooden spoon, etc.

Second, the aforementioned rule notwithstanding, the damn thing cost over $20. I usually buy JP a little something when we're out but it usually falls into the $5 or less category.

I have decided to allow JP to buy the Nerf crossbow but he must do it with his own money. I occasionally pay him for doing extra chores- picking up sticks in the yard, dusting the doors, etc. To date he's earned about $8 of the $23 he needs.

Today we went on another date and visited a different toy store. There were many things that caught his eye and on more than one occasion JP would say, "Mommy, do I have enough money to buy this?" I finally explained to him that, yes, he did, but that if he spent his money he would have to start all over on his savings for the crossbow. He pondered this and then said, very somberly, "Okay Mommy. Let's just go."

To teach him this lesson about money is monumentally hard for me. I am an only child that grew up in a house where money was never an issue. I wasn't spoiled but I never really grasped the concept of money. To this day, at the age of 28, I have money management issues. I'm trying to teach my 4-year old son a lesson that I am still learning.

To see him make such a mature decision- to forgo instant gratification for a much bigger payoff- made me so proud. It was one of those rare moments when, as a parent, I feel like I'm doing something right.